Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Wow... It's been a long time.

It sure has been a long time since my last post.  Christmas has come and gone and so has the new year.  I kept telling myself how I need to post on here, but then I just couldn't do it.  

This Christmas was a bit difficult to say the least.  With being pregnant and all the "morning" sickness and all the emotional stuff of thinking of Audrey, Marilyn and my miscarriage.  Then the boys getting sick Christmas weekend.  I pretty much lived on the couch with them.  

This year, I am determined to do better in a lot of areas.  First being my Bible reading.  I really had to dig deep these past few weeks and examine myself.  I have to be honest with myself and with God.  I just have let my relationship with Him go by the way side.  I am not proud of it, I do not like it.  I still very much love God and want to be close to Him.  But I let everything that was going on in my life get in the way.  

I started the year reading the book of John.  I am glad God had me go there first this year.  I read through all of Jesus' miracles.  It encouraged me and helped me so much.  I know God can and will do miracles in my life if I let Him.  They may not be my idea of what I think I deserve or want, but there is the problem.  Why do we think we deserve miracles?  Why do we think we should get what we want?  Goodness me!  I think it is time I stop thinking of me, myself and I.  

I am privileged to be carrying a precious little one, a soul, a person inside of me.  This is a miracle in itself. :)  

God is good.  I will have hope!