Saturday Night!

Saturday nights are not normal around this house.  It's always a dash to get things ready for Sunday. It is the Big Push.  There just never seems to be enough time to get everything done during the week.  

My husband's (Shaun) work schedule is different than most.  He has split days off in the middle of the week.  Which is awesome and difficult at the same time.  He has to work weekends.  He usually does his normal 5:00 am - 2:00 pm shift on Saturday.  Then he has to be back at work by 11:30 pm Saturday night so that he can be home in time for us to head to Sunday service at our church.  He works hard.  Heavy lifting, stocking shelves and is on his feet most of his shift.  Saturday nights he sleeps maybe 2-3 hours at the most.  Sometimes he doesn't even get an hour.  He works at Lake Tahoe which is about a 45 minute drive.  

When Shaun gets home, we head to church.  We get there about 9:30 am.  We don't usually leave till 12:00 pm.  We are back at the church at 4:00 pm.  

Sunday is a big deal in this family.  It is something we have made a priority for over 10 years.  For the past few years, we have been in charge of the Sunday Children's program as well as Awana that started last year.  This year, All of our children's programs are on Sundays.  This means, we have a lot to prepare for. 

From the moment he walks through the doors of our home on Sunday morning, to the moment we leave the church that afternoon, he is on fire for God.  He is ready to go.  He is ready to greet people, meet with his workers, serve others. He is always smiling, happy and glad to see you. He doesn't complain. 

Why am I telling you all this, you may ask... 

Whatever your schedule, whatever your situation, it is a decision to serve God. Shaun decided that he wanted to serve God no matter his schedule, no matter if he isn't feeling well that day, even if it is an inconvenience.  Even if it isn't his "regularly scheduled" time slot. 

Am I saying everyone needs to be like Shaun, Not at all. 

But think about this, When you get to Heaven, what will your first response be?  Undoubtedly it will always be, "I wish I had done more."  More of what?  More for God, more telling of our Saviour, more encouraging, more loving, more... Just more!  

The next time you have an opportunity to serve, whether that be during church, in the nursery, in the children's programs, or at community outreach, think, "how can I make this happen" instead of, "how can I get out of this." 

Trusting God Through A Child's Struggles

We all know that children are a gift from God. 

Psalm 127:3 "Lo, children are an heritage of the Lord: and the fruit of the womb is his reward."

We know they are not ours, but sometimes it is so difficult to make that a reality in our lives.  Our kids are precious.  And as mother's, we take ownership of them.  Any time they hurt, we hurt.  Every time they struggle, we struggle.  We have been through the tough stuff of growing up.  We want to take that burden from them.  But we can't.  And that's tough. 

We can feel that any struggles or obstacles they face are due to our failings as a parent.

The last few months have been especially hard to deal with.  The burden my heart feels when it comes to my kids is growing.  They are growing up in a world that is no longer God fearing. As a parent, I cannot take these burdens or these choices away from my child.  Just as I have learned and grown from my obstacles, choices, testings, trials, I have to allow my child to learn to let God work in their lives through the same.

We need to put our trust in the Lord.  He is the only one that can help our children deal with the obstacles of life.

Proverbs 3:5 "Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding."

Our job is to train them, guide them, love them, discipline them.  AND PRAY for them.

Proverbs 22:6 "Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it."

Deut. 30:6 "And the LORD thy God will circumcise thine heart, and the heart of thy seed, to love the LORD thy God with all thine heart, and with all thy soul, that thou mayest live."

Deut. 11:18-23 "Therefore shall ye lay up these My Words in your heart and in your soul, and bind Them for a sign upon your hand, that They may be as frontlets between your eyes. And ye shall teach Them your children, speaking of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, when thou liest down, and when thou risest up. And thou shalt write them upon the door posts of thine house, and upon thy gates: That your days may be multiplied, and the days of your children, in the land which the LORD sware unto your fathers to give them, as the days of Heaven upon the earth. For if ye shall diligently keep all these Commandments which I command you, to do them, to love the LORD your God, to walk in all His ways, and to cleave unto Him; Then will the LORD drive out all these nations from before you, and ye shall possess greater nations and mightier than yourselves."

I feel a very real struggle right now in this parenting area.  Thomas has struggled for many years now. School has been the main area we have seen the struggle.  Being a home school mom, I just figured it was me.  That I just didn't hack it.  But now that he is in public school and he isn't doing so well, I am left to wonder what is going on.  He seems to be getting further behind and is less motivated to even try.  

We are going through testing and evaluations now.  As a mom, I just want to fix it.  I want to take this burden from him.  I hate to see him struggle.  I hate to see him look down on himself. But I cannot do that.  God is teaching us and him.  He is trying to do a work in our lives and we must let him do that work. 

Grace and Mercy

Driving home from southern California we planned to drive up the coast, see all the beautiful sites, but most of the way was frustrating and irritating.  We hit traffic, not just because of everyday traffic issues, but because of people making bad decisions.  And then you have the gawkers.  Those that have to stop to stare at everything everyone else is doing.  

Grace and Mercy came to mind.  What I really wanted to do was scream out the window, honk my horn, and throw a fit.  Well, the last one, I kind of did in my head and at times out loud to Shaun.

¹grace

 noun \ˈgrās\

: a way of moving that is smooth and attractive and that is not stiff or awkward

: a controlled, polite, and pleasant way of behaving

graces : skills that are needed for behaving in a polite way in social situations

Full Definition of GRACE

1a :  unmerited divine assistance given humans for their regeneration or sanctification

b :  a virtue coming from God

c :  a state of sanctification enjoyed through divine grace

mercy

 noun mer·cy \ˈmər-sē\

: kind or forgiving treatment of someone who could be treated harshly

: kindness or help given to people who are in a very bad or desperate situation

: a good or lucky fact or situation

plural mercies

Full Definition of MERCY

1a :  compassion or forbearance shown especially to an offender or to one subject to one's power;also :  lenient or compassionate treatment <begged for mercy>

b :  imprisonment rather than death imposed as penalty for first-degree murder

2a :  a blessing that is an act of divine favor or compassion

b :  a fortunate circumstance <it was a mercy they found her before she froze>

3:  compassionate treatment of those in distress <works of mercy among the poor>

With Relationships, We need to keep these two things on the forefront of our minds and hearts.  We all crave to have mercy and grace shown to us but feel justified when we get hurt to not show these to others.

John 1:14 And the Word was made flesh, and dwelt among us, (and we beheld his glory, the glory as of the only begotten of the Father,) full of grace and truth.

James 4:6 But he giveth more grace. Wherefore he saith, God resisteth the proud, but giveth grace unto the humble.

Hebrews 4:16 Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need.

Psalm 86:5 For thou, Lord, art good, and ready to forgive; and plenteous in mercy unto all them that call upon thee.

Psalm 145:9  The Lord is good to all: and his tender mercies are over all his works.

Luke 6:36 Be ye therefore merciful, as your Father also is merciful.

Ephesians 2:4 But God, who is rich in mercy, for his great love wherewith he loved us,

In these days of busyness of life, the devil sure likes to make us get frustrated and mad at each other. He likes to see the differences divide us and take us out of the Lords work.  We have to keep these things in mind in order to keep going forward for the cause of Christ.

It is our choice to give grace and mercy, even if that person doesn't deserve it.  We did nothing to deserve God's love.  He proved His love on the cross for us and gave us grace and mercy.  We need to extend those to others even if they don't ask for it.  

What if...

What if God gave us spots?  What if those spots represented our sin? 

What if every time we sinned, God gave us another spot?  

Not just brown spots or black spots, but colorful spots - the kind that can be seen, really seen. 

What would I look like?  What sin is hidden in the depths of my heart that no one else can see?

My sin. My shame. 

The person who is a drunk and can't give up the alcohol.

The person that is constantly lying. 

The person who has hate in their heart and lets the bitterness take over. 

The person who lives a life of sin. 

The person who has had a premarital relationship. 

The person that has gone through multiple marriages. 

The person who says the Lord's name in vain. 

The person who has killed. 

The person who is prideful. 

The person who chooses wrong. 

Jesus went unto the mount of Olives. And early in the morning he came again into the temple, and all the people came unto him; and he sat down, and taught them. And the scribes and Pharisees brought unto him a woman taken in adultery; and when they had set her in the midst,They say unto him, Master, this woman was taken in adultery, in the very act. Now Moses in the law commanded us, that such should be stoned: but what sayest thou? This they said, tempting him, that they might have to accuse him. But Jesus stooped down, and with his finger wrote on the ground, as though he heard them not. So when they continued asking him, he lifted up himself, and said unto them, He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her. And again he stooped down, and wrote on the ground. And they which heard it, being convicted by their own conscience, went out one by one, beginning at the eldest, even unto the last: and Jesus was left alone, and the woman standing in the midst. When Jesus had lifted up himself, and saw none but the woman, he said unto her, Woman, where are those thine accusers? hath no man condemned thee? She said, No man, Lord. And Jesus said unto her, Neither do I condemn thee: go, and sin no more. Then spake Jesus again unto them, saying, I am the light of the world: he that followeth me shall not walk in darkness, but shall have the light of life. John 8:1-12

What if God gave us spots?

What would you think of me? 

How would that change us?  

How would we see each other?

How would we treat each other?

Finally, be ye all of one mind, having compassion one of another, love as brethren, be pitiful, be courteous: 1 Peter 3:8

What I learned from getting shin splints - Ladies Connection Class Lesson.

What I learned from getting Shin Splints.

Have you ever had to go through a time of testing? A time of trying to succeed at something and every corner you turn, you find an obstacle? (Ladies Share) (for me- Photography business)

My Goal: Run (jog) a 5K

I have never been a  runner.  I have always stopped when things got tough, to painful or I just got bored.

Isn't that how we are with God?

When things get tough or painful, we throw in the towel?

Maybe when the Bible becomes boring, we just stop reading? (telling on myself)

Through training, I have had times of testing.  Have you ever had shin splints? Or maybe an injury that kept you from a goal? (raise of hands)

-At times in our lives God calls us to run through the pain. 

               

-Sometimes the pain is necessary  for us to grow- Just as your muscles hurt when you start exercising or  push yourself to new heights, God does the same. Change! Change is always hard.  No one likes change. It is uncomfortable and sometimes it hurts. When you want to make changes to your body or your habits or your life, you will feel the uncomfortable pain of change.  I was in pain for 3 days after I did my first workout - I couldn't even make it down the two steps outside my house.  I realized I had muscles that I never knew I had.

               

- I have to run through the pain when I want to give up. I wanted to just stop when I felt the burning pain in my shins. It was like my legs were on fire. I have to trust that God will take care of me through the pain I am going through.  (There is a time to take a break and then there is a time when you have to continue to work through the pain.) 

-At times the pain is there to show us that we are doing something wrong.

               

- Sometimes God says, slow down and we don't listen.  Sometimes our body's will tell us we are doing too much too soon.  (I am a go getter.  I go all out.  No holding back.  I am invincible! But then  I can hurt myself and by doing that I take myself out of the race.) 

                

- Sometimes we are just using the wrong gear!  A runners worst mistake is wearing the wrong shoe.  If you do not take care of your feet, you cannot run. You will hurt your feet, it goes to your shins, your knees,  your hips, your back.  It gets bad quick. When we decide to rely on ourselves and not on God, we are using the wrong gear in our spiritual lives. 

Hebrews 12:1 - Wherefore seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset [us], and let us run with patience the race that is set before us,

Matthew 11:28-30 - Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.

As I ran through the pain, I was asking God for strength and I was praising Him every time I got through it.  Just as I did while running, I should be doing the same thing every day of my life.  Thanking Him and praising Him. 

Are you anxious?

Sometimes life seems to crazy to keep up with.  And that is when anxiety can set in.  Since I am prone to anxiety, I have been trying to keep things in perspective.

Here is a list of things we are doing/planning:

Planning the Awana Awards Night, next years club year, Junior Camp, my visit to Florida to see a friend, hubby and wife vacation, end of school year is here, Thomas' birthday party, Golf lessons, and training for a 5K (Soon to be a blog post)... with all the "normal" stuff in there too.  This is all stuff that is happening in the next 6 weeks. 

With all this going on, I can get a bit flustered and can take it out on the people I love.  One of my severe side effects of depression was anxiety.  I can get worked up over nothing.

Here are a few things I am doing to keep my anxiety at bay:

1. Make time to read your Bible.  (I am not always best at this, but I am actively working on it.)  I can see such a difference when I make time to read my Bible and pray.  I need to seek God, on a more personal level, every day.

2. Exercise!  This one is so beneficial for me.  Any time I feel overwhelmed or stretched thin, I go running or do a workout video.  This helps me to clear my head and also work off that anxiety in a productive way.  After a good workout, I feel a sense of calm come over me and my brain is then able to focus on the task at hand.

3. Prioritize.  I like to make a list of things that need to be done.  Organize that list and put the most important thing on top. The stuff that can wait, will wait and I am ok with that.

4. Relax.  I always thought that everything had to be done right then or I failed.  Or I would wait till the last minute to do things (I am still a procrastinator, but again, I am working on that).  But I choose to not freak out about things.  I refuse too. Do everything you can, when you can.

One of my biggest fears since getting off my antidepressant has been for my anxiety to come back.  Dealing with real life is also dealing with anxiety.  But a lot of what I have learned is that we can control a lot of the anxiety we deal with.  I can stop procrastinating.  I can control my thoughts.  I can pray when something is not under my control and ask God to give me peace. He will and He does.

Philippians 4:6-7
Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.

My Life Belongs To The Master

Have you ever thought, "What if my life were different?" "What if I didn't go through that?" "Why couldn't I just grow up in a godly home?"

There are so many questions we could ask, or wishes we could make.  "Why me" questions.  "If only" wishes.

But if we believe in an almighty God, those questions are invalid.  They really are.

Looking back at my life, all the good and the bad or the unfair or hurtful, I wouldn't change any of it. Not one thing.  Nothing.

My life belongs to the Master.  To my Creator.  To my God.  To my Saviour. 

Do I believe He caused the bad, the ugly, the unfair or the hurtful?  No. 

But I believe He has used it to create His masterpiece.  He is not done with me.  He is still molding and sculpting me. 

I can see His hand in my life every step of the way and I am thankful for that.

Can you say that?  That no matter what painful circumstances or health issues or life hurts come your way that you will trust Him with the outcome.  That He is your life's Master. 

But now, O LORD, thou art our father; we are the clay, and thou our potter; and we all are the work of thy hand. Isaiah 64:8.

And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28

He has a purpose for your life, your hurt, your struggle. 

Look to Him.  Say, "I don't understand this, but I trust you and I have faith!"

Finding My Joy (part 2)

I did not take this photo

 I wanted to give you an update on my Joy search.  Oh My Soul...  I feel like a weight has been lifted.  I feel as though I found out some amazing secret that everyone else should know.  I just have to say that I am getting my Joy back and it has been a wonderful week of rejoicing.  

This time of year can be very difficult for me.  Today is the second anniversary of Audrey's passing.  I could be sad and withdrawn.  But instead, I am so full of joy.  The day after I realized what my problem was, I woke up with a song in my heart.  I couldn't help but sing it. 

I still have moments of frustration and hurt.  I still can be cranky and in a mood.  But I feel a peace inside that only God can bring.  

If you are struggling with Joy, my advice is to seek God through His word, through listening to preaching, and through listening to some good uplifting music. 

Here something to get you started: 

1. I have found His grace is all complete,
   He supplieth every need;
   While I sit and learn at Jesus’ feet,
   I am free, yes, free indeed.
   • Refrain:
     It is joy unspeakable and full of glory,
     Full of glory, full of glory;
     It is joy unspeakable and full of glory,
     Oh, the half has never yet been told.
2. I have found the pleasure I once craved,
   It is joy and peace within;
   What a wondrous blessing, I am saved
   From the awful gulf of sin.
3. I have found that hope so bright and clear,
   Living in the realm of grace;
   Oh, the Savior’s presence is so near,
   I can see His smiling face.
4. I have found the joy no tongue can tell,
   How its waves of glory roll;
   It is like a great o’erflowing well,
   Springing up within my soul.

Finding the Joy!

 

I did not take this photo

Habakkuk 3:18 says, "Yet I will rejoice in the LORD, I will joy in the God of my salvation."

And Paul writes, "But none of these things move me, neither count I my life dear unto myself, so that I might finish my course with joy, and the ministry, which I have received of the Lord Jesus, to testify the gospel of the grace of God," in Act 20:24.

To say the least, I have had a JOY problem lately.  Things just seem so mundane and tedious.  I have seen my joy dwindle away for the past few years.  It is time I get that joy back.  And God is the answer.  When things seem out of sorts and you just don't seem to have the right attitude or feel like things are worth doing, turn to God.  He wants us to be Joy Filled.  He wants us to have joy doing things.  

Sometimes I know I get so busy I don't pay attention to what God has to say about things. I just think about all the things I need to get done. When this is happening on a continual basis, it is time to slow down and remember that God comes first.  He should not have to wait till we are no longer busy.  I know over the past few years, life has gotten so much busier.  Time is going by so quickly and if I don't start having joy in those everyday moments, life is going to pass me by and I will be a grouchy, cantankerous old woman.  

I do not want to be that way.  I want to find joy even when there seems to be none.  Just as Paul writes about his trials and troubles, he still found Joy in the midst of them.  I can do the same.  I know I can because Jesus saved me!  He paid my sin debt.  This world is not my home, I am just passing through.  I can have joy in the midst of my trials.  I can have joy in everyday activities.  I can have joy raising my kids.  

I choose Joy!  It is a choice we all must make.  No matter what I have going on in my life or around me, I can have joy.        

 Psalm 16:11  Thou wilt shew me the path of life: in thy presence is fulness of joy; at thy right hand there are pleasures for evermore. 

Hearing the Word of God.

I wanted to share something that God shared with me through His word today.  It was a bit amazing to me to realize what He is saying in these verses.  

Genesis 21:9-20

This is the story of Hagar in the wilderness with Ishmael.  She is about to give up in these pasages.  Who would blame her?  She has been kicked out of her home, is now a single parent, has nothing to provide for her son and doesn't even have water.  She has a lot of problems in her life at this moment.  She puts her child out of her site so she doesn't have to watch him die... Wow!  

She is crying and giving up at this moment. 

And then God sends her an angel.  He tells her that God is on her side.  He is there with her and will take care of her.  And then the Bible says this:

   And God opened her eyes...

So, there is one thing that came to mind.  She closed her eyes.  
This came to my mind first.  She closed her eyes to God.  She was more focused on her problems than in finding an answer to her problems.  She was closed to the fact that there was a well right in front of her because she wasn't trusting God.  

Oh, how we do this.  We get so wrapped up in the actual event of the problem than in the miracle that God is unfolding in our midst's.  God just kind of smacked me over the head with this one.  It reminds me of Peter walking on the water with Jesus and the second he gets his focus off of Jesus and onto the storm around them, he starts to sink.  

This is how I am.  I spend too much time thinking of the problem and not enough time on the One that can take care of that problem.  He is the answer! 
       

New Year...

The new year is upon us.  I am completely scared of this fact.  I do not know what it holds for me or my family.  This past year was a roller coaster of grieving, excitement, great joy, worry and everything else in between.  I had a fabulous end to a great year.  And now... I am just trying to go one day at a time into the unkn0wn. 

Sometimes I think way to far into the future.  This year, I am going to try to focus on what that day holds and leave the rest to God. 

 Therefore I say unto you, Take no thought for your life, what ye shall eat, or what ye shall drink; nor yet for your body, what ye shall put on. Is not the life more than meat, and the body than raiment?  Behold the fowls of the air: for they sow not, neither do they reap, nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feedeth them. Are ye not much better than they?  Which of you by taking thought can add one cubit unto his stature?  And why take ye thought for raiment? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow; they toil not, neither do they spin: And yet I say unto you, That even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. Wherefore, if God so clothe the grass of the field, which to day is, and to morrow is cast into the oven, shall he not much more clothe you, O ye of little faith? Therefore take no thought, saying, What shall we eat? or, What shall we drink? or, Wherewithal shall we be clothed? (For after all these things do the Gentiles seek:) for your heavenly Father knoweth that ye have need of all these things. But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you. Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof.
Matthew 6:25-34

God knows what tomorrow holds.  I will let Him take me through it. 

Don't let the Devil take your thoughts!

I am going to do this post because I think a lot of women let the devil take their thoughts and just run with them.  I know that I can do this.  And in all honesty, I let him do that to me last night.  I didn't get very much sleep.  I was restless and woke many times, I did pray, but couldn't get these thoughts to go away.  I was paranoid and anxious all night.

This rarely happens to me.  I am an easy going, easy to please person.  I like to please others and I enjoy people.  But if I get even the slightest hint that I may have done something wrong, or hurt someone, I just let the devil take over my thoughts.  I worry about it. I think this person is super mad at me just because maybe we haven't talked as much in the past few days.  I beat myself up, wrack my brain to find out what I could have done. 

Then the devil takes it a step farther and makes me think that other people feel the same way and that I am just not a good friend, person, wife, mother... The list can go on for ever.  I give the devil free roam of my thoughts.  It takes my focus off God and other people.

I can come up with a reasonable excuse for why a person may not be talking to me.  People are busy, they have things that need to be done or maybe they just need a break from people.  Sometimes I need a break.  I just want to be able to do my list of things and not be bothered.

But then I feel that little tug of doubt and suspicion come back.  Then I think, Wow!  I can be such a needy person some times.

Sometimes we can feel attacked, scared, hurt, misused just because of the way we think about something.  We can either give power to the thoughts that come into our heads or we can listen to God and let those thoughts disappear into the night. 

Here are a few Bible verses that we should cling to when we let the devil take our thoughts: 

  2Co 10:5  Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ;
 
  Php 4:8  Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.