I have been really thinking about all the loss I had last year. A lot of it is coming up on the one year anniversaries. I really do not want to go back down the path of depression and not enjoy the gifts God has given me to enjoy this year. :) So I have started reading a few books on miscarriage, loss and grief. And wow... I really wish I would have read them back when all this was going on. :( I feel that I am missing some healing that should have already taken place. Christmas time was especially difficult. I should have had a new little one and a new niece to love on through the Christmas season and they were not there and also missing Marilyn.
I really have a desire to share what I have learned in this journey. I do not want this pain and suffering to go without reward of helping others. I do not believe God would allow this unless I was able to help those that will go through the same thing or have already gone through it. I think so many of us are silent in our grief and silent in our loss because people just don't understand what is going on. We are ashamed that we cannot just move on. But should we just move on, I do not think so. I really feel that there should be more openness in our pain. We need to feel ok to grieve in the way that God has intended. I am reminded of Jesus when Lazarus died. He knew He was going to raise him from the dead and still the Bible tells us "Jesus wept. Then said the Jews, Behold how he loved him!" John 11:35,36. Amazing to me how God would weep over something He knew would be a miracle in the end.
So, here are some of the books I have started to read and have found great comfort and understanding in these words already. I also have some other books I am going to read. I really want to be a help and not have all that God has allowed in my life to not be used for His honor and glory. He has allowed it and has given me the strength through Him to help others.
Empty Arms: Emotional Support for Those Who have Suffered Miscarriage or Stillbirth by Pam W. Vredevelt (She is a Pastor's wife and a professional counselor at Christian Counseling Services. She has her Master's degree in communications. She suffered the loss of her first baby at 5 months pregnant) She also has other grief books on Amazon.
Healing Your Grieving Body: 100 Physical Practices for Mourners By Alan D. Wolfelt, PH.D. and Kirby J. Duvall, M.D. ( I just started this one but they also have some other ones as well. I am going to look at getting Healing a Friend's Grieving Heart: 100 Practical Ideas for Helping Someone You Love Through Loss (this one will help me be able to help my sister and mom through their grief. My mom is still having a really hard time with my nieces death which happened in her home and she is the one that started CPR. Brings tears to my eyes even thinking about it still).
The other book I am going to get is Free to Grieve. I am not sure who the author is. I am going to borrow it from my sister and some other books. I will let you all know about them when I get them. :)
My next few posts are going to be highlights of what I am learning. I think it is important to share the knowledge we gain.
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