The goodness of God

I needed to share how God has been working on my heart and showing me how much He loves me.  I know I post a lot about last year, but the blessing are so much coming to pass... I am so grateful.  Last month at our monthly Ladies Bible Study at Sierra View I was able and blessed to give my testimony.  Most of what I talked about were my emotions, feeling, struggles and everything else from last year.  I had a lot that needed to be shared because I had bottled it up for so long.  Sometimes you don't really know how you feel till it is coming to a close and you actually go through it all.  I was coming to terms with last year over Christmas.  It was a hard time. 

But after sharing all of this with such wonderful ladies, I have been experiencing something amazing.  God has been showing me how He worked through it all.  I had to come to the realization that no matter what hurt and heartache came from last year, I would rather have gone through it than it never have happen in my life.  I would have still carried that precious baby even though I would never hold him or her in my arms.  I would have still been there at Audrey's birth and death and at the hospital for those 4 long days even knowing we would not be seeing her again.  I would still have been there through Marilyn's battle with cancer, her being so sick she couldn't walk and then sitting next to her while she took her last breath.  Then planning and helping with the funerals that come after death.  

I would still have gone through it all just to know I was carrying a precious life within me.  

I would still have gone through it all just to hold Audrey only 3 times in her short lived life. 


I would still have gone through it all to know Marilyn as her faith and love for God got stronger as she knew her life was soon ending. 


For so long I have been thinking so much on the negative that had happened last year.  So focused on the pain and heartache I endured.  Instead of realizing that I would have gone through it no matter what the outcome.  


I am so glad that I do not get a choice in what comes my way.  I know that if I were to choose what happened in my life at all times, nothing bad or sad or hurtful would ever happen to me.  But that is just not the world we live in.  Because of sin, we live in a dieing world.  We are not perfect and because of that, hurt, sadness, and tears happen. 


But the good news is, nothing catches God by surprise.  He knows what will happen.  He is prepared for whatever comes ahead of us and if we trust in Him, He will carry us through.  He doesn't just help us through or go with us, but He will pick us up and carry us through if we let Him. 


 “These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world.”  
John 16:33

Today is what you make it!

I needed to share... Today didn't really start the way I would have liked.  I was a tired, my body is starting to be all achy all the time (YAY pregnancy) and I have so much to do... I am realizing living with one vehicle takes some doing (I can't just go to the store when it is convenient). I don't like this feeling of being "stuck" at home either.  

But the day did end with a better attitude and some time couponing by myself (I love doing this alone). I got a blessing from God and from a friend. I got to cook a super yummy dinner for my family and when I got in the car to do my errands, I found some Girl Scout Thin Mints in the car (left by my super wonderful and loving husband). 

I still didn't get everything on my list done, but I am OK with that.  I have tomorrow to work on all that. :)  I feel blessed and right when I sat down to type this, I get little kicks in my belly to remind me I am doing something more amazing than the dishes for the next few months.  

Here is a photo of the coming home outfit I got for baby while away at Ladies Conference. 

 

Ladies Conference!!

I have so much to say about Ladies Conference.  It is amazing how we anticipate this time of refreshing and being away for a whole year and by the time it comes, it feels like it is ending and we have to wait another year before we can enjoy the time again.  I have so much to share, but for right now I am just going to post some photos for everyone.  In the next few days I will share some of the things I learned and my favorite parts of LC.  I think this one was my favorite year so far. :)

 

Michael Emmett Traynor

Have you ever had one of those days where you feel emotional and a bit sensitive and you aren't sure why?  Today was one of those days.  After a busy weekend and knowing there is a messy home to clean, school to start and children to take care of and meals to prepare, you get so busy trying to get things done, you forget what today is. February 20, 2004 was a difficult day.  Michael Emmett Traynor was taken from this world. 

A few weeks after this day we got the news that the day before his death, he accepted the gift of Jesus and we were given the hope that we will see him again.  Praise the Lord.  God is so good. 

It has been 8 years since that day.  We have had so much go on in our lives since this day.  The best thing that came from this event in our lives, We are serving the Lord!  We have seen many people come to know the saving grace that Mike took hold of the day before his death.  Amazing!

I want to tell you about this man.  I am so blessed that I got to know Mike.  He is one of those people that you know is special.  He had this way of making me feel special and wonderful.  He was kind and loving and accepting.  He always made me feel important and would listen to my opinions and never made me feel stupid or crazy for having them.  

A few weeks before Mike went to Heaven, we got to have a moment to ourselves.  There were other people in the room, but for that moment, it was just us two.  I was trying to stay strong and keep a smile on my face.  He called me over to him and he gave me the warmest most loving hug.  As he held on to me and let me cry he whispered to me, "It's going to be alright Sunshine."  (He would always call me princess or sunshine).  At that moment I felt a love that only a father can give a daughter.  
The photo above is one that hangs in my house.  I love looking at it.  It is so much him and his real smile. His eyes would light up when he smiled. 
Sometimes I think of what it would be like to have him here with us.  How he would love on the boys and play with them. How he would come over and just enjoy them. To talk to him about politics and everything going on these days. HAHA!  It brings a smile to my face thinking of all this.  And I cannot wait to be with him and others we love again. :)

Wow, My baby is growing up!

Have you ever looked at your child and went "wow, my baby is growing up!" ?  I have moments like that frequently.  I think being pregnant now is also making those thoughts more real to me.  I look at Thomas and James and remember holding them when they were born and watching them grow over the years. 
I can't wait to see these boys hold their baby brother, see how they react to him.  When I had James, Thomas was only 2. This is totally different.  I remember my mom being pregnant with my baby brother, Iain.  I remember holding him in the hospital.  I was 4 1/2 at the time.  I have even more memories of when Felicia was born.  At that time I was 8.  So I know the boys are going to have memories too. 

Here are some photos I took recently of the boys :)

These were taken before their haircuts. :)  I love it when they look a bit scruffy.  I need to take some more since I cut their hair recently.  
My babies are growing up and sometimes I wish I could go back and hold them again as little babies. :)  I remember holding them for hours as I just watched them.  Those memories are the only things I have now.  But Wow! how time flies. :) By the time this little one comes, I will have a 7 year old and an almost 5 year old.

It's A Boy!!!

Yes... We are having another boy.  I have to be honest... Not what I was hoping for or expecting.  I was hoping for a pink dress shopping experience.  I wont get that this time (we are not sure if we are "trying again for a girl," so no need to even go there. LOL!  We will take one child or pregnancy at a time. HAHA.  And if we try again, I think I will just expect another boy.  
I was a bit sad and had an emotional moment when I found out.  The ultrasound techs were not so friendly and were a bit snobbish when it came to things.  We get to the office and I sign in.  They call me back (I had invited Felicia and my parents to come with) and would only let one other person go back with me.  I begged for them to let Shaun and Thomas go with me.  Thomas wanted to see pictures of the baby.  
So, we go back get started and the techs say nothing.  Wont share any info.  The baby is moving like crazy.  Maybe feeling my anxiousness.  They wait till the very end to even do gender.  I told Thomas everything we were seeing.  I was a ball of fluster and just wanted to know the gender of the baby.  It was pretty annoying.  Going through 2 of these before and having more talkative techs made this one not so fun.  Oh well... Baby is healthy (as far as I know) and growing.  One of the techs did tell me that baby is measuring at about 11 oz.  Which is a little bigger than the norm.  But all my babies have looked bigger than they were.  
I have my next appointment on March 5th (I think).  We should be able to find out more info from the Dr.  
I am feeling baby move a lot more now.  At least once a day I am able to sit and feel the little guy move.  This is really exciting for me.  :)

And the week is only Half Done?!?!

Ok... So, I just have to brag a bit on God today.  I know you all have read and seen what last year was like, so I am done posting about it.  But I think it is funny how when you give something to God all the way, He loves to remind you how much He loves and cares for you. :)  

Wow.  What a week.  Since Saturday I have been having such a blessed week.  

Saturday we had a Church CPR awareness class for all the nursery and youth workers.  Since I help in the nursery and also with the Jr. Church and with the Teenagers, I needed to be there.  They purchased a DVD set with a few practice dummies so we could learn the basics of CPR.  I have been certified in the past so it was more of a refresher.  But it was good.  

The first video started off with a story about a baby that had stopped breathing a couple days after she was born.  I held back the tears.  That baby girl survived.  When it came to practicing on the little baby dummy, I broke down and cried.  It was a bit intense.  After a few moments I was able to practice CPR and then I sat down in my chair.  After that I had a good time and fellowshipped and laughed with my friends.  

I think this was a bit therapeutic.  It helped me to see things a little different. 

Later that day we had some friends over for dinner and had such a good time. :)  I love having people over to my house.  It is such a blessing for me to cook for others.  We have not had people over in a while due to my "morning" sickness (so glad that is over).  I am blessed with some pretty awesome friends. 


So, on to Sunday.  I love Sundays.  I had not been able to go to church the previous 2 weeks due to children being sick.  So glad they are all better.  What a blessing it was to be in Jr. church with my hubby.  We have so much fun doing ministries together.  


Then we had the Super Bowl party at our clubhouse and had such a good time.  I was not feeling super because I guess I caught one of the bugs my kids or someone else had.  But I just got to sit and enjoy everyone else.  So many people helped to get things set up and then clean up.  I didn't have to do much of anything.  What a blessing to me.  So, THANK YOU! to everyone that helped, I know who you are and you are super awesome. :) 


Then Monday comes and all I can say is God is so good!  A wonderful and amazing person stopped by to give us gifts from God.  She dropped off pork chops, tomatoes, a roast, frozen waffles, sausage, oranges, avocados, garlic, eggs and a ham and a gift card (I know I am forgetting something). OH MY SOUL!  All I could think was someone more deserving should be getting this. But my God decided I would get it. :)  

Then we got to go to the Baby Dr. :)  Baby is growing healthy and strong.  My boys got to go with and got to hear the heartbeat.  Thomas thought it was the coolest thing ever.  He kept making the swooshing noise like the doppler makes.  The Dr. had him listen to my heartbeat and babies so he could hear the difference. :)  I am starting to feel movements almost daily.

WOW!  What an amazing week so far... But that is not the end. 


The first Tuesday of each month is TLC- Touching Ladies for Christ.  Our Pastor's wife, Rebekah puts this together to encourage the ladies of SVBC.  I love this time with the other ladies of our church.  They are all amazing and wonderful.  You get to know each other on a deeper level at this Bible study.  I also got to tell a little bit about my testimony.  I cried of course. LOL!  I talked a little bit about growing up, meeting and marrying my hubby and then about last year.  I revealed a lot of my struggles which most of it I had never said out loud before.  I kept it inside for so long.  I think it benefited me more than anyone else to be real and honest with these women whom I have come to love and become such good friends with.


Then today comes... I am still not feeling well, but I don't want it to keep me down.  I am really trying to keep up with housework and such.  I don't want to just lay around anymore. LOL!  I was checking my email, paying some bills and then I hear a car pull up...  And then the blessings just kept coming through the door.  More food blessings... What?!?!  I was thinking today, I really want mashed potatoes (none in the house) but I was prepared to stop at the store for a few spuds, but now I don't have too.  Plus so much more that I am just amazed.  I don't even know where to put it.  I am just overwhelmed with emotion.  I can't even explain it.  I don't even know what to say.  


What a week... And only half done?!  God, You are so good! 

...my cup runneth over. Psalm 23:5

Bring ye all the tithes into the storehouse, that there may be meat in mine house, and prove me now herewith, saith the LORD of hosts, if I will not open you the windows of heaven, and pour you out a blessing, that there shall not be room enough to receive it. Mal 3:10