I think I will always keep October set aside for my Angel. When I talk about my Angel, I am taking about the little one I was not able to keep here with me. It is a term many women have come to use for their babies that have passed away. I have been thinking about my baby for the past few days. I have a stuffed bear that I insisted on getting right after we found out we were pregnant... I think I knew I was not going to be able to keep that baby.
I am so in love with my Johnny. He is so amazing to me. And I wouldn't change anything that happened. God truly knew everything and had all the details worked out. I do not believe that it is God's plan to take our little ones away from us. It just happens. But His love and grace get us through. We become stronger because of these things that happen in our lives. We also learn to trust in Him. I do not believe I went through any of that alone. He was right there with me. He is a loving God, an amazing God.
I just needed to say Happy Birthday my Angel. I can't wait to see you again. But for now, have fun with cousin Audrey, Grandma Marilyn, Grandpa Mike and all the ones who have gone on before us. Mommy loves you very much. Have fun playing at Jesus' feet.
The photo above is Johnny at 1 month old with my Angel Bear.
I love you!
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