These last few weeks have been trying and emotional. As I reflect on them I can't be more grateful for the love of God. It is amazing how God gives you that special peace in difficult times. In the past few weeks I went through the process of the miscarriage of our third child. And this process is still ongoing.
I want to share with you what I have learned so far from this time in my life. This will be a learning process as time goes on and I am so grateful for that. First off I want to tell you I am OK! Not that I am great or fantastic or depressed or a mess (which I may be all of those at some point during this time in my life) but I am OK!
Today was a blessed day. God knew what I needed and He gave it to me. He gave me exactly what I needed. I got to hear some amazing men get up and Preach the Word of God in a way that moved me and showed me the Love of God. My husband preached about the faithfulness of God. He has been faithful to me every day of my life. And then I got to hear my Pastor preach a message on being content. I can truthfully say that I am very content with my life at this moment. Now to be honest, tomorrow that may change. But through the words these men were saying, I knew God was speaking directly to me. And it was amazing.
This is what God has shown me in the past few weeks:
Philippians 4:7 And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.
God's peace cannot be matched. Everything in this world is temporary. Good times come and hard times come, but the peace of God is understanding that He is right there with you, going through everything with you. His peace is understanding that He loves you so very much.
Romans 8:39 Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Ephesians 3:19 And to know the love of Christ, which passeth knowledge, that ye might be filled with all the fulness of God.
For a few moments last week all I could think of was what did I do wrong for this to happen to me? Do I deserve to have more children? Well... I put that out of my brain real quick. I know the love of God. He does not zap you because of something in your past. If you are His child, He has already forgiven you. He loves you unconditionally. Yes, we may all have hard and difficult times, but my faith tells me that everything will work out in His timing. His grace is sufficient.
2 Corinthians 12:9 And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.
If this world was perfect, we wouldn't have hard times or sadness, hurt or heartache. But this world is not perfect because we are not perfect. The valleys come and go and the mountain tops come and go but God stays right by our sides. He listens to me complain, He holds me when I cry, He laughs when I say silly things, He rejoices when I trust in Him.
I am amazed at the love of God. His love is unmatched by anything this world can offer. His love sent His Son to die on an old rugged cross for me. If I was the only person on the earth when Jesus, the sinless Son of God, walked it, He would still have taken my punishment on Himself. Why would God send His Son to die for my sin if He didn't love me?
I feel His love toward me. My desire is to share that love with amazing young ladies and women because He said you are worth it. And you are!
When we found out we were pregnant we thought it would be great fun to surprise the boys and take them to Build A Bear. It is great fun for the boys to do this. Before we went in, I asked them if they would like to create an animal for their new baby. They looked sad and replied, but we want one too... It was too cute and I knew what the response was going to be. So I told them that if they pick one out for the baby, they could get one for themselves as well. This is the bear they chose. They named her Gumdrop. It's little things like this that lets me know God loves me.
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